Thursday, January 5, 2012

Astonishing X-Men: Gifted


Marvel Comics needs to get his shit together. Them and their marketing team apparently because I didn’t even know this movie existed. I’m talking about Astonishing X-Men: Gifted. It’s a moving comic book and is based off the series of the same name written by nerd overlord Joss Whedon. Now, we all know that just because something has the X name in it doesn’t guarantee it’ll be successful. This continued that trend. Meanwhile DC Comics is knocking them out the park each and every time.

It starts off with Kitty Pryde showing up at the mansion for the first day of school with a new group of students. The team is composed of Beast, Wolverine, Cyclops, and Emma Frost. Cyclops and Frost are dating even though he is pretty much just using her to keep his genitals warm until Jean Grey comes back. They even point out that people always come back to life. More on that later. Even though these people have known and worked together for decades its like they never have before. Maybe its because Xavier is gone which is fine since he’s a lying asshole.

There is a new drug being developed that will cure the mutant “disease.” A few new students want to give it a try and Beast is all like “Oh, hell yes!” Wolverine is pissed that he would even consider it. So they fight. This is the second fight Wolverine has started since he got back. The cure was built because an alien named Ord that looks like what the Devil picks from his teeth and it makes no sense that any human would look at him and go “I believe everything you say” told them that a mutant was gonna wreck shit in three years.

Fast forward to SHIELD being involved somehow but not really, the team sneaking into the base and finding a dead mutant, and Kitty finding out that Colossus is not really dead but had his mind transported into another body that does everything his old one did. He beats the hell out of the bad guy and all is right with the world. But not. I know that this was just part of an arc but it felt like total nonsense and I don’t get why people thought this was one of the best X-Men stories in the last ten years.

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